Let 2021 be the year you reclaim your energy and sense of self!
Firstly I want to wish you a very happy, healthy and energised new year and thank you thank you thank you for following me, working with me, sharing my work and all your support. You really are my inspiration. I learn so much from my awesome Mother star clients and community. You hold so much wisdom and magic which really supports my own growth, understanding of mothers and helps me become a much more expansive, in-tune therapist so thank you!
With that said, I want share my most valuable and POWERFUL lessons to date to help you reclaim your energy.
You may notice that a lot of these lessons are emotion- and identity focused, the reason being is that who you are and how you feel about yourself influences everything else – your behaviour, your dietary choices, your parenting, decisions and how you relate to your partner, friends and family and how you show up in your career and life.
This is why my approach is – Empowering Mothers from inside out
From my experience, you can eat kale till the cows come home, take expensive supplements, tune into headspace every night, go vegan, do a couch to 5k challenge BUT if you don’t acknowledge and address what’s going on in your head and heart, reclaiming yourself will feel like pumping a tire up with a hole in it.
This is why I created my ENERGISED MOTHER MODEL which takes an inside out approach to health, happiness and wholeness.
I’ve come to realise a lot of your energy as a Mother is spent on finding your identity.
Often you can get stuck in the gap between the person you were before becoming a mother and the person you are growing into.
Understanding the concept of MATRESCENCE (the process of becoming a mother) and taking an ‘inside out’ approach to you and your health has proven to be gold! Now you can start to approach motherhood through the lens of personal growth, with curiosity and compassion and a much greater sense of awareness to what YOU need to feel energised and more like you.
Resolve the unresolved
Often you arrive at Motherhood already carrying a backpack of life’s unfinished or unresolved business . Throw in the lack of self care time and coping tools (emotional space, connection, nourishment and sleep), high societal expectations and demands and the monumental identity shift that comes with this transition, and whatever you’re holding on to may start to bubble to the surface – suppressed emotions and outdated belief systems, childhood trauma, unmet childhood needs, an unfinished bucket list, friendship and relationship troubles and anything else that’s buried deep in our subconscious is likely to rear its head.
The Invisible motherload
Following on from ‘resolve the unresolved’ – it’s usually the hidden stress you carry from day to day, a lot of which is in your blind spot that causes the greatest drain on your spark and energy. The most common offenders are – how you feel about yourself, not feeling good enough, not trusting in your own ability, fear of not being liked of loved, fear of being abandoned.
These are not necessarily conscious thoughts we think about day to day but they usually drive how you show up, behave and mother – high achieving, perfectionism, putting pressure on yourself, not feeling able to say no, people pleasing, spreading yourself thinly, neglecting your own needs.
Express yourself – find your voice
When you’re carrying a lot of hidden stress – the invisible motherload, it can feel like your dragging an emotional anchor around with you. Often its really hard to articulate how you’re feeling because it feels confusing and overwhelming and also, comes with a large amount of mother guilt – “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I should be grateful for what I have”.
Feeling this way usually causes Mothers to SELF SILENCE. You stuff these emotions, worries, intrusive thoughts down into your subconscious (which is essentially the body) and crack on seeing to others needs and all your responsibilities. It’s usually these supressed emotions that express as physical symptoms including anxiety and exhaustion
A lot of the ‘common’ (but not necessarily normal symptoms you experience as a mother are in fact symptoms of inflammation. Brain fog (mum brain), fatigue and exhaustion, overwhelm, cravings. PMS and feeling like you’re riding an emotional rollercoaster. Inflammation is your immune system’s response to chronic unresolved stress (there’s a pattern) in a bid to keep you safe. Its essential to health but once the tap is switched on chronically it can act as a huge drain on your energy.
Identifying stressors and inflammatory triggers and adopting an anti-inflammatory diet along with gut health support is a powerful first step.
Balance is an inside job
Achieving balance is like the holy grail of motherhood. When you’re in the thick of the mother-juggle its easy to place your attention outside of yourself trying to reach some kind or balance in your external environment. However, a lot of the time its your inner world that is out of whack. Namely – blood sugar, nervous system, adrenals, nutrient depletion and gut microbes (microbiome).
How, when and what you eat can have a profound effect on these factors. First restore harmony within. You’ll be surprised how that shift your perception of your environment.
We see things as WE are not as THEY are
This is one of the most profound learnings for me. One of the only things you can actually control in this world is your perception of and your response to your external environment, other people and, stress. You view your world through your own model of the world. If you are a Mother who is carrying unresolved stress, beliefs that you in some way are not enough, and you’re feeling burnt-out overwhelmed and anxious then the lens you view life through will reflect this. When things change inside you, things change around you.
Replenish mother depletion
Self-love and self-care are crucial for replenishing mother depletion. From a nutritional point of view, focus on including nutrients that support energy and brain health
- Vitamin B12 plays a crucial role in the efficient transport of oxygen throughout the body by supporting the production of oxygen-carrying red blood cells. Additionally, B12 supports the protection of your nerve cells which is important for energy as well as brain- and cognitive health. Vitamin B12 is mainly found in animal products such as meat, poultry, fish, eggs and dairy. Vegetarian and vegan sources of B12 include seaweed, fermented soy, spirulina and brewer’s yeast. A good quality B12 supplement may be helpful.
- Iron stores can be significantly depleted following pregnancy and birth. And with menstruation, we lose even more iron on a monthly basis. And yet, iron is key to energy and vitality – similar to vitamin B12, iron is needed to transport oxygen from the lung to your body’s tissues. Dietary sources of iron include red meat, beans, nuts, dark green leafy vegetables, and dried fruits such as dried apricots.
- Zinc doesn’t only play a key role in the integrity of our gut lining which is crucial for our overall health and wellbeing, but it also controls copper absorption. A deficiency in zinc can cause copper levels to rise, causing our bodies to produce more adrenaline and resulting in symptoms such as anxiety and depression. Foods rich in zinc include shellfish, meat, eggs, lentils, legumes, nuts and seeds.
- Vitamin D is crucial for the health of our immune system and overall energy levels with a deficiency leaving us feeling weak and tired. Build up your levels of this vitamin by enjoying some lunchtime sunlight during the hotter months (sun cream blocks the production of vitamin D in our skin but be careful not to burn) although a year-round supplement is advisable to keep levels in check. Dietary sources of vitamin D include eggs, mushrooms (go for the brown chestnut variety) and fish.
- Folate (that’s the food derived equivalent of man-made synthetic folic acid) is used in huge amounts during pregnancy to help form the baby’s brain, skull and spinal cord. Folate is also important in the development of healthy red blood cells. A deficiency in the vitamin, similar to a deficiency in B12 and iron, can cause a reduction in red blood cells which can result in impaired oxygen transport, leaving us feeling tired and exhausted. Foods rich in folate include green leafy vegetables such as cabbage, spring greens, kale and spinach, broccoli, brussels sprouts, chickpeas and kidney beans.
From a lifestyle point of view, make sure you eat regularly (skipping meals can have a detrimental effect on our blood sugar…more on blood sugar here), take time to rest and do more of what you love. Clearing your head and resolving the unresolved can also have a huge effect on your energy and overall wellbeing. If you want to read more about tackling mother depletion, check out my blog post here.
Find your inner Queen
The Queen is the most powerful piece in the game of chess and is able to influence every other piece. If you want to release the unhelpful behaviours and beliefs that are holding you stuck and draining your energy and spirit you need to identify your INNER QUEEN
When you pan the camera back on your life, what is your ‘INNER QUEEN’? This is THE PIECE that ties together patterns that have run through your entire life. Not feeling enough, not having confidence in your ability, fear of not being liked or included to name a few.
If you’re ready to reclaim your energy and feel more like you, get in touch with me here to book a free discovery call.